My brain says no but my pants say off.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
