some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
