I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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