It's Friday. Sex?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I deserve this hangover.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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