babies were throwing up all over the place
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
