I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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