He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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