just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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