its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
