She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
