i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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