Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
