im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize