so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
