Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
