are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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