I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
