My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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