i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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