I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
