Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so let's talk penis.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize