do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
