I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
