saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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