I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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