Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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