Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize