All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
