dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
