Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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