and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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