i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
