i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
