I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
