you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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