She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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