Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you will always have a special place in my vag
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
