if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I want her autograph on my taint
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
