You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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