White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
