Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
