Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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