I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
jump out the window naked night went bad
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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