The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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