he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
