Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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