I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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