Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
