plz talk dirty to me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
