I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
