I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
