I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
