i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
