I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
