This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
