If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
