as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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