I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
