I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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