everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
