I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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