if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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